What is more doable than simply noticing somebody? That's right, just notice -- no need to talk to them or meet them or tell them anything. No, just notice.Like, for example if you are driving down the street and you see a lady walking on the sidewalk and as you stop at the stoplight she is crossing in front of you and you decide to notice her. Maybe she looks kind of tired, "I wonder why she looks so tired, is there something that is keeping her up at night, some problem that is weighing her down?"
Or maybe you're at school, and there is someone that isn't in your normal group -- you don't even know his name, and you decide to notice him. Notice what he looks like, does he look sad or happy, "I wonder what his life is like, is today a good day for him?"
Just notice someone this week. Oh, I guess there is one more thing, but it is a small one -- write down or otherwise record your "noticing," and then share it here. That way others can participate in your noticing, and you can participate in theirs. Make sense?
Share your "noticing" stories here.
Part of my daily routine includes going to the library during the last period to play video games, hang out with friend, or go to Albertsons down the block. It’s a block of time for relaxation with freedom to procrastinate on the work load, tests, or responsibilities that came later. This was my block of time. Admit tingly it was a huge block of time, build mostly on laziness instead of trying to balance a work load, but it was my block of time nonetheless. I treasured it and became accustomed to it, like a tradition And I was irritated when people dared ask me for a ride home. It wasn’t because their houses were far away and took up precious fuel, nor was it because they were disrespectful of my personal needs and time. No, driving people home meant losing “me time”, interrupting my fun and having them shove their wants in my face. How dare they push their wants and needs on me! Can’t they see this was my time? Why couldn’t they just work in the library or mind their own business.
ReplyDeleteNow this week’s Monday morning so far had to be hottest day of this year. Thermometer tips shattered and skin pores filled buckets, and understandably but still annoying, students whined about the heat. But they can’t be blamed; any other day looked like a cool autumn afternoon compared to this weather. My under shirt was already drenched with sweat, and wearing another layer of clothing didn’t prevent the growing precipitation. So I retreated to the library along with most of the student body. It was about 3:10, school was out, and 5 minutes before my friend would ask for a lift to his house.
I often resented giving him rides, and delayed it as much as possible. He’d always be the first to bring it, and brought it up almost everyday. I frequently felt distaste offering my driving skills to him, for he was a burden on my back. But this time was different. How much work did my friend have to go through? Was I about to let him walk home in this type of weather? My body already suffered. How much would he suffer just walking home in this heat? He had 4 full periods without rest, while I had more than a hour to goof off and play. Sure he could find another ride, but was I the one to reject him? He needed to finish his homework, and I put my free time above the study time that he so desperately needed. Before, I didn’t bother to sympathize with the burdens he faced, or the anguish he felt just being at school. I was caught up in my play time and had made it an idol. If only I used all those day before to dedicate my free time in serving him. It didn’t take much, just 20 minutes. But with thse 20 minutes my soul gained the opportunity to reflect the love that Christ gave to relieve other’s suffering.
I didn’t drive to school that day, but the next day I was the one to bring up transportation
Today I noticed a kid come into the Blue Mug in Escondido. He was about 19, had a bushy head of hair and a beard. His pants were kinda funky, his feet clad in sandals with one knee high black sock and one calf high white one. I saw him and thought -- what is he trying to prove. As he got his coffee, he sat down with two girls, one of whom was smoking. I admit, I made judgements. Then, i noticed that the girl handed him a copy of Brennan Mannings great book, Abba's Child -- a Christian book. As I looked more carefully, their table contained a number of Christian books. Funny sock guy was intently looking over Manning's book. I wondered if he knew Jesus or if the girls were introducing them to HIm. I was excited that someone who I would not think would be interested in Jesus was looking through books about him. I wondered where he was in his spirituality and I prayed for him.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you weird sock guy.
I cannot say for sure why I have a tendency, or how, or whether I should; but certainly, I have an affinity for noticing people. I notice isolation in the midst of crowds. I notice alienation, I notice stress, I notice joy; I notice every rung of the popularity ladder. I notice the extension of social stratification to the microcosm of our school, defined, arbitrarily, by the students that inhabit it.
ReplyDeleteBut perhaps my tendency is because of this: that where I sit at lunch, nothing can be easier. The stratification is evident. The groups have coalesced, the individuals have sat. They come from the top of the ladder, they come from the bottom. They are together, and they are separate.
I sit at the lunch tables.
There exists a curious void between castes. Everywhere around me, large crowds gather together for lunch, conversing, laughing, and occasionally yelling. These are the cliques, the groups, and they are more far more difficult to isolate. No, the void is not around me. It is on me. In the center of the complex, a few individuals sit down and eat, alone. They are my buddies and me, isolated in the middle. And right next to us, one girl.
At the lunch tables, social status seems to be conferred by location. And while I refrain from making judgments, I can surely ask this: why have the crowds left a void?
And what is the story of that one girl?
Just to clarify, even though my story seemingly condones or even espouses the arbitrary definition of class hierarchy in the society of the high school "microcosm", I do not share the same view; I am actually ardently opposed to such an idea. BUT I do acknowledge the presence of a rift between the "popular" and "loner" kids. And, my point is, I definitely notice that latter often at school.
ReplyDeleteBut, metaphors make a story good, thus the implicit comparison between social castes and popularity. Hope no one took that in a literal manner.
Jim
ReplyDeleteGood comments. Since noticing people is normal to you, my guess is you suspect it is normal for everybody or at least lots of people. It really isn't. If you know a lot of other people who are similarly wired, you are blessed. The ability to really notice people -- to notice and feel compassion -- is image of God stuff. God put that in you. That is cool!
Pastor Doug,
ReplyDeleteYes, noticing people does come naturally for me. I've always thought of it as something bad, but I guess I'm putting it into good use right now!
And I liked your story... simple, yet deep.
Both,
ReplyDeleteI was very pleased to read your articles. They were short, yet “exposed” – the word Jim would use- intimate lessons that personally remind me to look at the norms in everyday life. I noticed that there’s a danger in noticing someone because it could lead to misjudgments. I have them all the time whether consciously or unconsciously and I’m relying on God to help me not make false judgments When I do, I feel horrible later on, upon coming to a revelation that the person I judged has a whole different background or past or reaction to life that I hardly considered. Both your entries felt very honest and I give thanks to God for this blog. Thanks guys!
Last week I noticed an African-American girl in her 20s who came through the drive-thru (I work at Starbucks). Her face was disfigured; she had big blotches of bleached-white spots around her eyes, cheeks and mouth. I only spoke to her for a few seconds during our transaction but we had a pleasant encounter. I wondered if she came through the drive-thru because she didn't want to have to deal with any startled looks from anyone. Or maybe, since adversity makes one stronger, perhaps she is a very strong, confident young woman. I reflected that beauty is indeed an inside thing. We tend to emphasize so much the beauty on the outside that it is a distorted thing. I pray that the God of the Universe is very real and close to her.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a great comment, Kelly. There is so much going on in every person we see -- stuff on the surface and more below. If we stop and think, if we notice people, we cannot help but feel the compassion that comes from being made in the image of God. It amazes me how often we just don't notice.
ReplyDeleteYesterday at the food bank we packed childrens food into plastic bags.The group was from Scripts Research institute. I worked next to this married couple Steve and Shannon. They were so friendly and kind, and always made encouraging comments about me as we worked. Time went by fast thanks to them. I wonder if they're saved. God bless them.
ReplyDeleteAt school there's this girl i think is really cute. I try to talk with her in the school library and usually have a good conversation going. She's into vampire novels, manga, and comic-con. But there's this kid that comes up and i can just tell he likes her too. All three of us and another guy(who was really cool) went to sub-way after school. I could just feel some sparks between me and him. He was a grade below me, so I had the age advantage. However I decided I wouldn't try to compete for the girls' affection and let them be. As i walked away I contemplated my sadness, of love lost again! It felt painful like the whole world was against me, like love was free to the "incrowd" of the interesting and beautiful. But I started to think about those who go hungry and the homeless. I started to think about people in pain. They have it worse. Suddenly my loss didn't seem all that tragic.
ReplyDeleteJonathan, thanks for your willingness to really share, to be vulnerable and have insight that shows eyes that see things the way God sees them.
ReplyDeleteI was at the San Jose airport yesterday and saw a guy on the cell phone waiting to be picked up -- he was on the cell phone. A woman (his wife?) drove up to pick him up. He did not get off the phone, only tapped on the trunk for her to open it. Once opened, he put in his bags, went around the car and got in. The woman did not look at him, he did not look at her, he did not get off the phone and they drove away.
ReplyDeleteWas it his wife? How long had he been gone? Why was the call more important than the woman? Were they once in love? What went wrong? Does she feel ignored, or am I reading something in. They were together and separate.
How often am I separate even when with someone else?
It was a Tuesday afternoon(May 19th) when I drove down Black Mountain road to Mira Mesa. I took the usual couple of right turns at intersections, the first a cross, the second a T. Because the light was red, at the T intersection I took my time, carefully judging the speed of the cars zooming past. As I looked to my right I noticed a homeless man with a small sign that said something like "Help Hungry". He was in shabby cloths and looked like he had a hardened face. Since I couldn't stop after I took the right turn, I decided to keep going until I could make a U-turn.
ReplyDeleteAfter I turned around and headed towards the homeless man, I came up to him in the left turn lane. I rolled down my window, and grabbed the only piece of food in my car, a half finished bag of beef jerky. Now you should probably never hand a homeless man a half finished food product, because this man rejected it right away. He said he couldn’t eat it and proceeded to walk along the island hoping for some other mercy. Did I do something wrong? Perhaps he suspected food poisoning. “Who knows what the food would have done to him?” I recited over and over in my head. Personally I have a nervous complex dealing over mistakes, and fret constantly over what “could have happened”. The guilt lingered on. Maybe he was insulted that I handed him a half finished bag of jerky.
But maybe he wanted to sell the food … After finishing the 2 hours at the food bank, sorting food into categories, I approached the volunteer director David. He was a big man, but very encouraging and gentle. I confessed my earlier error to him. He informed me in the most encouraging way that we need to be careful of whom we hand out food to. Handing out food is always a risk because there’s always a chance the receiver will sell it to another hungry buyer, and use the money for drugs and alcohol. But sometimes the receiver was honest and would come with the intention to eat the food. Handing out food was tricky, because the results were never set in stone. Well I found out beef jerky probably wasn’t at all dangerous to a person’s medical health, and that left me with some piece of mind. As I drove back home, passing the same man pacing back and forth on the thin island, my mind raced with the thoughts of what to do. This time I decided to just drive home because my brain was scrambling over the riddle of how to give hand outs. I prayed for the man and asked God to provide for him. As I drove away there was this nagging feeling that I needed to do more. But it was in Gods hands. I prayed for wisdom.
Disclaimer: I do not at all in this entry intentionally encourage the hand out of food to strangers whether face to face, or from a car window.
i think this blog died XD?
ReplyDelete